“How dare you wear my favorite shirt?”, “Get out of my room right now!”, “How dare you use my computer without permission”. You have to hear such sort of arguments very commonly if you have teenagers at your home. Siblings share a very complex relation with each other. On one side, they cant live without each other and have a desire to share their feelings about issues at college and parents. But, on the other side, jealousy and conflicts develop between them very commonly over small things. It becomes very frustrating for the parents to handle these disputes. If such conflicts among siblings are not resolved at an early age, they can develop into permanent rivalry at an adult age.
Causes of Sibling Rivalry
If you want to resolve the conflicts among siblings, it is very important to identify the cause first. If you diagnose the reason, half of your work is done. Following are some very common causes of siblings fight and hatred:
Favouritism
If there is some sort of favouritism in the family, then the fights and arguements between siblings will become more and more. The favoured child will be hated by his brothers and sisters. Whenever some child will be ignored by his parents, he will definitely fell jealous or resentful.
Boredom
A very common starting point of sibling rivalry is boredom. When one of the brothers or sisters starts getting bored, he starts doing awkward things to gain attention. He will be seen picking and teasing the other siblings or calling their names. Next he may get really annoying to get full attention like flicking the tv channels or humming different noises to flee from boredom.
Misunderstandings
Misunderstandings can lead to rivalry even among adults. Sometimes, we do not listen to the other person and assume things ourselves. This is exactly what happens among siblings. A lot of friction develops between them when one says something and the other understands it differently leading to fight.
Different Opinions
Even if two persons look alike, live together or have the same environment, they can still have differnt opinion about everything. Same goes for siblings who normally argue over this issue like different movies or song choice, different habits,liking’s etc. Siblings rivalry develops between them because they argue continuously without listening to each other.
Busy Parents
If parents are stressful or busy due to their work, then siblings rivalry becomes very common. Children will not share their issues with parents and this will make them moody and frustrated.
Stressful Life
If your child is facing some sort of stress at college or at home, he will be easily annoyed by other siblings. His tolerance will be decreased and it can lead to conflicts easily.
Stressful Life
If your child is facing some sort of stress at college or at home, he will be easily annoyed by other siblings. His tolerance will be decreased and it can lead to conflicts easily.
How to Resolve Siblings Rivalry
Following are some very effective methods to resolve the conflicts among siblings and make them close to each other:
Don’t Play Favorites
As a parent you should never pick a favourite child. Never compare one child’s abilities to other.It will create inferiority complex in the neglected child and he will start hating the other. So make them feel that they are all equal and special in their own way.
Cooperate Rather than Compete
Teach your children to cooperate with each other to complete a task rather than making them compete. Ask them to accomplish a task as a team so that they can understand each other better and have a common goal.
Pay Attention
Sometimes the reason behind siblings rivalry is that they need attention of parents or feel neglected. So you must give attention to them , listen to their problems and try to solve them.
Solve Your Conflicts By Yourself
You should just advice the children a little but should not interfere in their issues. They must learn to solve their own issues by themselves. They must respect each other’s opinions and do some effort to make it work.
Family Activities
Plan picnics or other small family activities to bring the siblings closer. If they will have warm memories with each other, their conflicts will decrease automatically.
Privacy
Each child requires his own personal space and time. They want to plan fun activities with their friends without interference of their siblings. So you must guide them to respect each other’s privacy.
Alone Time For Each Kid
Parents should spend some alone time with each child. Just spare some minutes each day and have one to one conversation with each of the children. It can give miraculous results.
Celebrate the Differences
Each child is blessed with his own talents and abilities. So celebrate their victories according to their talents and encourage them. Do not judge them on the same scale and enjoy their differences.
Listen
Just simply listen to your children. Listen to what they are going through in the family and college and assure them that you are always here for them. Sometimes mere listening carefully can solve all the problems.
HOW SIBLINGS RIVALRY IS USEFUL AS WELL
The conflicts and fights among siblings are very useful for the mental growth and maturity of children.They learn the following things:
- How to solve problems
- How to resolve conflicts with other people
- Listen to others and treat them with empathy
- Develop tolerance to understand different opinions
- How to compromise
- How to negotiate and express your feelings
